Hi, my name is Benjamin and this is why Palestinians have to die.*

Hi, my name is Benjamin and I am a political bruiser. Israeli politics are tough and I am the toughest of the tough. Don’t get me wrong: I am a nice guy, but you have to be tough to survive. The past few years have been very tough: I have to work very hard to keep together a coalition containing quite a few nutters; there have been cost of living protests, and scandal is never far away. Just don’t mention my current wife and her shouting at the household staff. And her spending.

Generally though things are good. The economy is going well. Obama may not be the lap dog I want, but I can handle him. John Kerry comes over every few months and talks about ‘peace’ and we just laugh at him. In fact I love it when he comes over to announce talks – we just use that as a springboard to announce a new settlement building programme and make the Palestinians accept it as a preconditions for talks. More talks, more settlements – it’s a fantastic strategy. The Europeans are useless but we have access to their economy and that is all we need. Thank God there is no democracy anymore in Egypt (that was pretty scary), and those Turks have enough on their own plate so they need not worry about anything else. The situation in Syria suits me just fine. And Tony Blair – he is the best. He’ll do anything for that burial plot on the Mount of Olives.

But most of all, the Palestinians are brilliant! They make my day – everyday. Hamas are the most wonderful useful idiots. They fire a few rockets now and again, but the rockets almost never kill any of our own people. Thanks to those rockets, we have the perfect excuse to knock the shit out of the Palestinians every few years, while generally keeping them down and out. Their heads should be one inch above the water – no more.

I do not dislike Palestinians. I have nothing against them – except that they want rights and make noise. But they are incredibly useful. They and their pathetic rockets allow me to continue my political narrative and stay in this nice job. They allow me to get behind the Army, and to show the Americans that we have our backs to the wall. It doesn’t take much to convince the Americans to give us more cash and arms. The Israeli public are fickle. They need a project, and the project is securing the survival of the state. They probably know it is bullshit (we have won long ago), but they love it: support our sons and daughters in the IDF; we are a tiny country surrounded by hostile neighbours; we need to stand up for ourselves; we have an expanding population to accommodate; we are a special people. I am bored with it myself, but the people love it.

Every few years we bash the Palestinians, kill a thousand of them and hurt Hamas. But we must be careful not to kill off Hamas. We need them (same with Hezbollah and Iran – we need them too). It is not my fault. It is this stupid political system we have. I cannot be seen to be weak (look what happened to poor old Olmert). Instead, I have to mobilise people, tell them that those crazy Palestinians are terrorists and want to kill them, and generally stir things up. But it is win-win-win – for us. The more those European liberals criticize us, the more we can use this ‘backs to the wall’ narrative. Accuse the Europeans of anti-Semitism and they shut up. The more the Palestinians fight back, the more we can bash them and call them terrorists. The more the Americans say ‘something must be done’, the more we can ask them for.

So life is good. I may have to kill hundreds of Palestinians, but it keeps me in a job. It is the system that kills them, not me. They are collateral damage. I just deepen my voice, look serious, sound sententious and talk about Israel’s security. If Palestinians have to die – so be it. My successor will understand. It is more or less cost free. Yes, we take a few casualties, but we need to do that to keep the narrative going. Anyway they take many more casualties so we can always say that we won.

Yours truly,
Benjamin

* Fiction, as not told to Roger Mac Ginty